we go shopping

today amber and i had to go to the grocery store. I have been waiting and waiting for my car - that is another story that i will save - and finally we realised that we would need to take the bus to sechelt to get some food or we would be reduced to eating canned kidney beans on toast. Not the most appetizing thing...
it turned out to be lovely today. we enjoyed our outing and we looked at purses and ate at that restaurant downtown where the waitress knew everyone's name as they came in.
i started the day with crying and frustration; my car will not be ready until sometime next week. but on the good side we are truly on the downward spiral, all the body work is done, it is all together, just waiting for some backordered parts from Toronto for the back seatbelt. *note* if you ever crash your car and someone is in the back seat for the love of god tell the goddammed collision place so they can replace the sensors and stuff attached to the rear seatbelt. who knew???!! certainly not me...
i am really beginning to believe that my sore arm and shoulder are directly related to my not having my car. it's like the throb in my shoulder is a reminder of why i take the bus. Maureen asked me last week how the law of attraction figures in to me waiting for my car. i've been thinking about this for a few days now, and this is what i think...
that i am in the midst of being reminded that life moves at a pace that is not set by me. s-l-o-w-d-o-w-n is the message for me, over and over and over again. it seems like when i make a list of things i'm going to do when i get my car, i find out that my car will not be ready for "a few days or so". Message is: "hey, stop that. you have no control over driving your car to capilano rock and gem, so why are you insisting on making that the plan? you can go to the store, just don't plan on driving there." after so many years of working at the shelter and making plans and basing everything i did on outcomes and projections it is like none of that matters now. none of it. it is what it is. i can choose to be content with it or i can choose to cry and be frustrated. i choose contentment. i choose to be grateful for such a wonderful day, house, life, world. car or no car, my life is blessed.
I don't think i have yet completely found the authenticity in this part of my lifestory yet; there is some other learning that i haven't uncovered. it doesn't yet feel right.
hmmm...
so it goes.